When a friend may be toxic you are supposed to ask yourself "How do I feel after I'm done hanging out with my friend?" The experts say "If your answer is exhausted, relieved, frustrated and depressed then you may have a toxic friend. Life is too short to surround yourself with people that don't add to your life in a positive way". Is it considered selfish to have a friend for the sole benefit of what they do for you? Or is that the way friendships work?
If someone asked me to give atleast 3 reasons why I am friends with each of my friends I no doubt could answer for most of them. Whether it be they make me laugh, they give great advice or their personality. I have friends that I only have seen once a year lately, and I still consider them good friends. Yes we may not talk all the time, or keep in contact as much as we should, but I know they will always be there and I'd like to think they know I would be there for them. Sometimes a friendship is hard to explain because words cannot express just how greatly they make you feel. Like maybe two friends stand in a kitchen, drunk, crying & telling each other how much they love each other...just because. Or you have friends you can lay in bed with talking, watching tv or just being completely silent. The friends that will force you to get off your ass when they know you need it...but know you well enough to know when not to push it.
So why is it that we keep some of these toxic friends? I don't know if I'm scared to hurt them, scared they will get mad, or scared that I won't be able to make a clean break and it could end up worse than it was. Or is it because they are 'friends of friends'? And I KNOW I will have to see them, associate with them, or maybe not want to put my good friends in a position of feeling like they have to choose between me or them. Regardless having a toxic friend can do more harm then good, got to weigh the options.
You may not be able to pick your family but you can pick your friends. Funny how friends become your family and your family your great friends. Surrounded by lots of people you love...that's how it should be
